I am reminded of the countless conversations I've had with my husband about "toxic masculinity," a phrase I frequently hear these days. He is a strong man physically, mentally, and spiritually who has always been the rock of our family, and I, for sure, would never refer to him as having "toxic masculinity." Still, our society today does often "train" women, especially young women, to refer to men as "toxic" if they are strong, perform as leaders, and don't conform to the new philosophy that men must be weak.
In today’s society, men are often expected to be weak and submissive rather than strong and confident. “Toxic masculinity” has become the catchphrase for almost any man who shows leadership and strength. However, I disagree with the premise that men are “toxic” when they lead and demonstrate courage and strength. Simply stated, men are designed to be strong.
As a woman, I've seen men often judged and criticized for being strong and confident. Additionally, they are sometimes falsely accused, as seen in the Duke lacrosse scandal and perhaps at the height of the “Me Too” movement. I've also observed that they're often forced to conform to societal expectations to be seen as weak and submissive. At the same time, our society still expects them to do the jobs that most women can’t or won’t do, such as construction, and working on oil rigs. Like me, most women would prefer to work at a desk rather than on heavy lifting jobs. But - kudos to those women who can do this type of work!
To be clear, I'm not speaking about atrocities committed by men convicted of crimes against women but instead referring to the daily lives of men who go about working, raising families, and enjoying the fun things in life. They should feel free to be their authentic selves without feeling judged, criticized, or shamed. They should be able to express themselves freely, without fear of being labeled as 'toxic' by society. They should be able to be themselves without apology and still be respected and valued.
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