A psychiatrist explains why a generation of young men is adrift — and how modern culture dismantled the path to purpose, responsibility, and identity.
I’ve been watching this for years: young men — our nation’s future — drifting, disconnected, rudderless. They’re physically present, educationally credentialed, digitally plugged in — and still hopelessly lost.
As a psychiatrist who’s spent decades listening to people in pain, I can tell you: this isn’t about laziness or screens alone. It’s about identity, purpose, and the collapse of a meaningful path into adulthood.
The Vanishing Road to Manhood
Becoming a man once meant earning your place — through work, service, and sacrifice. You built something, you protected someone, you stood for something.
Today, those milestones are blurred. Many men in their twenties and thirties still live at home, delay family, and float between temporary jobs or digital distractions. Without a rite of passage or sense of mission, freedom turns into paralysis.
They stay busy — gaming, scrolling, streaming — but not fulfilled. The body says “adult.” The psyche still says “boy.”
Purpose Without Direction
Purpose used to emerge from responsibility. Now, it’s outsourced to slogans: find your passion, build your brand, monetize your dream. Those ideas sound empowering but often leave young men anxious and unsure.
Many earn degrees that don’t connect to meaningful work. Others drift through a gig economy that prizes flexibility over identity. The result? Ambitious men with résumés but no mission — trained to perform, not to belong.
It’s like dropping a soldier behind enemy lines without a map. He’s equipped but lost.
Cultural Confusion About Masculinity
Society sends mixed messages: be strong, but not too strong. Be sensitive, but not weak. Lead, but don’t dominate. The result is paralysis — a generation that second-guesses every instinct.
Social media makes it worse. Young men curate themselves instead of developing themselves. Authenticity gives way to performance. Achievement becomes optics. Relationships become transactions.
In my practice, I see young men who can market themselves but can’t manage emotion. They can code an app, but not confront pain. They crave direction but distrust authority.
Freedom That Feels Like Falling
Avoiding commitment feels liberating — at first. No mortgage, no kids, no long-term job. But freedom without anchors eventually morphs into anxiety.
Depression, substance abuse, and loneliness rise as purpose declines. More men drop out of the workforce. Fewer marry. Many admit to feeling invisible. That’s not a coincidence — it's a consequence.
What We Need to Restore
This crisis isn’t about individual weakness. It’s about the collapse of the cultural scaffolding that once supported male identity. If we want men to rise, we must rebuild the foundation.
Here’s what that looks like:
Meaningful work that builds identity, not just income.
Mentorship from older men, not online influencers.
Real rites of passage, where challenge forges character.
Community and contribution, where belonging replaces isolation.
Narratives that honor integrity, not just performance.
Finding the Way Back
Young men aren’t broken — they’re underdeveloped by a culture that no longer teaches development. They’re searching for purpose in a world that’s forgotten how to define it.
The cure isn’t more comfort; it’s more courage. Not more distraction, but direction.
Rebuild the road from boyhood to manhood, and they’ll walk it. They’ll rediscover strength, leadership, and the quiet pride that comes from purpose.
Give them back the path — and they’ll find themselves again.
About the Author
Keith Ablow, MD is a psychiatrist, New York Times bestselling author, and media commentator who has written and spoken extensively on human behavior, resilience, and cultural psychology. He has practiced psychiatry for more than 25 years and is known for exploring the intersection of mental health, meaning, and modern society. Learn more at KeithAblow.com
Medical Disclaimer: This article is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional advice because of something you have read here.
