Thanksgiving 2025 is about to expose America's dirtiest secret: we're addicted to our phones, and we can't stop—even for turkey dinner.
Some families are planning to do something radical this year—ban devices entirely. Psychologists warn it's going to be a disaster. A necessary disaster, but a disaster nonetheless.
THE STATS ARE BRUTAL
According to a survey of 1,163 adults by Acosta Group, 27% of Americans use phones or tablets during Thanksgiving meals. That number explodes to 61% when families eat at restaurants.
It's not just holidays. Research shows 25% of American families regularly use devices during everyday dinners. Over 50% of families admit that having phones at the table has become routine, according to Common Sense Media.
Dr. Keith Ablow, a psychiatrist with 25 years of experience who now works as a life coach, doesn't mince words about what's happening. "The holidays don't create relationship problems. They reveal them," Ablow says. "That fight about phones isn't really about phones. It's about whose emotional needs have been ignored all year long."
Here's the irony: 53% of Baby Boomer households plan to ban phones at Thanksgiving, but only 29% of Millennial households will enforce the same rule. Yet Millennials are flooding Reddit, complaining that their Boomer parents won't put phones down during visits.
The hypocrisy is about to explode at dinner tables across America.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU BAN PHONES
Family therapists paint a clear picture: it's going to get uncomfortable fast.
Dr. Martha Dieros Collado, a clinical psychologist, identifies this as technoference—how technology disrupts relationships. Research from the app Paired found that 64.3% of millennials have experienced relationship problems due to phone use during quality time.
When phone access gets cut off, people experience genuine withdrawal. Anxiety. Irritability. Physical discomfort.
Teenagers will treat it like a hostage situation. Gen Z are true digital natives who lack practice with sustained face-to-face interaction. Research shows many don't know how to have conversations without referencing TikTok videos or memes—their entire conversational framework depends on phones.
Adults won't handle it better. Expect multiple bathroom trips that are really car trips to check phones. Expect nervous pocket-patting. Expect the emergency excuse.
"Your family of origin gave you a template for what emotions are acceptable and what you're supposed to sacrifice to keep the peace," Ablow explains. "When you go home for the holidays, you don't just visit your parents. You regress."
THE FIRST HOUR WILL BE HELL
Psychologists predict the first 30 to 45 minutes will be excruciating.
People will experience genuine discomfort. Boredom. Not knowing what to do with their hands. Modern brains need constant stimulation—when it disappears, people don't know how to process the quiet.
Some will sit with arms crossed, staring at the walls. Not angry—just lost. Their brain is searching for the dopamine hit from scrolling and can't find it.
Others will become restless and fidgety, looking around as if they've lost something because they have—their digital security blanket.
"Strong relationships aren't built on comfort," Ablow says. "The goal isn't some perfect celebration. The goal is surviving without letting screens replace actual human connection."
THEN SOMETHING MIGHT SHIFT
Here's what happens if people make it past the withdrawal: conversations start. Real ones.
Family members discover information about each other that they didn't know. Younger cousins find common interests beyond phones. Older relatives tell stories that would typically be interrupted by Instagram.
Arguments happen—actual arguments about sports or politics. The heated discussions that used to be normal before everyone could escape into screens.
Research backs this up: families who regularly eat together without devices report stronger relationships, better communication, and higher satisfaction with family life.
THE GENERATIONAL DIVIDE
Baby Boomers will support the ban—until they realize it applies to them. Many don't understand why checking email during dinner is a problem.Gen X will adapt most easily.
They remember family dinners before smartphones existed. Millennials will be conflicted. They hate phones at dinner in theory, but can't put them down. Research shows that 71% spend more time with their smartphones than with their romantic partners.
Gen Z will treat it like a punishment. Psychologist Jean Twenge found Gen Z's historically low rates of in-person socializing correlate with surges in depression and technology overuse. They literally haven't developed the skills to be bored or engage in sustained conversation without digital assistance.
THE DATA PROVES THE ADDICTION
Beyond Thanksgiving's 27%, research shows 30% of Americans use phones during Christmas meals. Weekly family dinners see 37% on devices. Birthday dinners drop to 22%—still nearly one in four people scrolling instead of celebrating. Of those using phones during dinner, 50% are on social media. Another 42% watch videos. About 32% play games. And 28% of completed work projects.
People do literally anything except engage with humans sharing their meal.
Meanwhile, 88% think it's not okay to use phones during family dinner, according to Pew Research. Almost everyone agrees it's wrong, but at least a quarter do it anyway.
The gap between values and behavior reveals addiction depth.
THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH
"If you can't maintain your adult identity in the presence of your family of origin, you haven't actually separated from them psychologically," Ablow says. "You're still enmeshed. And that enmeshment becomes a third party in every relationship you have."
Phone bans expose a deeper issue: families have normalized disconnection. Phones provide escape from awkward conversations, uncomfortable silences, and the hard work of maintaining relationships.
Families who can't survive three hours without phones aren't just dealing with technology addiction—they're dealing with the reality that they might not actually enjoy each other's company.
Research shows 71% of households suggest putting phones down during meals. But
telling and doing are different things.
"Strong relationships aren't the ones that never have uncomfortable moments," Ablow says. "They're the ones where people choose to actually show up for each other instead of just performing a connection for Instagram."
WILL IT WORK?
Success depends on commitment. Half-measures fail—if one person gets to keep their phone, everyone wants an exception.
Therapists recommend announcing the rule a week in advance. Communicate that it applies to everyone. Designate one person for group photos, then collect their phone. Provide a landline for emergencies. Have conversation starters ready.
Be prepared for pushback. Expect 30-45 minutes of discomfort. Don't make exceptions. Lead by example—hosts must put phones away first. Understand that withdrawal symptoms are real and temporary.
Here's the thing: families don't have to ban phones. They can let everyone scroll through Instagram while the turkey gets cold. Watch nephews text girlfriends instead of talking to grandmothers. Take 47 photos before anyone eats. That's a choice.
The alternative is to try something radical: put phones away and see what happens.
"The goal is surviving the psychological warfare of family dynamics and cultural expectations while still liking the person you're sleeping next to," Ablow says. "If you can do that, you're doing better than most."
American families are losing the ability to actually to be together. Not physically present while mentally elsewhere—actually together. The phone addiction is winning.
Thanksgiving 2025 could be the year some families take their connection back. Or it could be another holiday where everyone stares at screens, missing the people right in front of them.
The choice is clear. Making it is the hard part.
FAQ: THANKSGIVING PHONE BAN 2025
How do you ban phones at Thanksgiving dinner? Create a phone basket by the entrance. Announce the rule one week before guests arrive. Take one group photo, then collect all devices. Set a time when phones will be returned after dinner.
What percentage of families use phones at Thanksgiving? 27% of Americans use their phones during Thanksgiving meals at home, but that jumps to 61% at restaurants. About 25% of families regularly use devices during everyday dinners.
Will banning phones make the family angry? Yes, initially. Research shows people experience genuine withdrawal when separated from devices. Expect resistance and irritability in the first 30-45 minutes, but studies show most enjoy phone-free meals once adjusted.
What generation uses phones most at dinner? All generations struggle, but Baby Boomers are most likely to enforce bans (53%), while only 29% of Millennial households do. Gen Z reports the most difficulty with face-to-face conversation without digital references.
What are the benefits of phone-free meals? Families who regularly eat without devices report stronger relationships, better communication, and higher satisfaction with family life. Phone-free meals allow genuine connection and meaningful conversations.
